My Mom

I was just talking to MJ. Seems his Mom has taken a turn for the worse and her prognosis is not very good right now.
If they needed our thoughts and prayers, the time is now fellas.
 
Thanks CB for letting them know!

Mom got real sick, and doc said no chemo she was to weak. Put her in hospital to see if they could try and get her a bit stronger, she started to cough up ton;s of blood yesterday night, they put a tube in to suck all the blood out and gave her some more, they tested her and found a big tumor in her small intestine that caused the bleed and they also said its why she can't eat.
she need to get the tumor, but they said there is 2 ways to do it but she will not survive the operation!
So today was another hard day! she seems to be doing much better but we talked and decided to sign a DNR order, man was that hard! i have been pretty good around her till today, i lost it:cry::cry::cry::cry:
on top of that i am in charge of burial and all her banking and other stuff. never thought it was going to be this tuff!
 
sorry to hear, big guy. unfortunately i know just how tough this is gonna be. just make sure you tell your mom everything you wanted and dont leave any issues unresolved. keep your family together and gather strength from each other. you know i dont pray because i dont believe in a god who would let people suffer like this but just know we're all thinking about you in this very difficult time.
peace brother.
 
These are the hardest times a person can face. I'm so very sorry for you and your mom MJ.. Many, many prayers going your way.

I don't know how you feel about this, but you say she has a tumor that she will not survive the operation to get at...to my way of thinking if getting the tumor might give her additional time, then if it were me in her position I'd tell the docs to go get the damn thing. I think I'd like to choose the way I go out, and I'd like to go out fighting, not laying around waiting for it to happen. Just me and my two cents, I hope you're not offended by it. No harm is meant.. I just feel that even a 1% chance is better than 0%. :(
 
Thanks for the support guys!!

She was a little more awake today, and seemed better! But we know the truth.

Destroyer: I hope you're not offended by it. No harm is meant.. I just feel that even a 1% chance is better than 0%. :(
Click to expand...

I am in no way offended!! I have thought the same way, but its up to her and she says no! she is done with cutting and all the crap!! she is really taking this better then anyone else.
she was also not under standing the DNR and wanted it done a different way with conditions, doc told her its yes or no nothing in between!
so after we spoke i said the best way is let them try to save you, and if they can great, but when the doc tells me you are gone, i will get the brothers together and we will tell him to let you go, i promise i will not let you be on all them machines, and she agreed and thanked me.
but that's another thing that i hope i never have to do!! just hope in the end its fast and painless for her!!
 
MJ...I know the end came pretty quietly for my mom in 2008...she was in a nursing home and just kind of drifted away...interesting; the ladies who work there, told us to the day when she would pass 3 days in advance...after a while, they can see it coming...they just know...
 
Stay strong Brother. Like Charlie said, be there for her and the rest of your family, and let them be there for you too. God bless ya'll.
 
my mom

mj so sorry to here the latest on your mother. i know it is a very tough time for you and your family. i went through this last january with my mother. be there all you can,hold her hand and talk to her. you may not think that she understands or can her you but i am here to tell you she can!!!!!!!tell her its ok you understand.hospice told us that sometimes a loved one will try to stay with us because they feel like there are letting us down.tell her its ok to go be with the lord!!! keep strong brother!!!!!!!
 
well just got home, doc called a meeting tonight with my mother and her 4 boys, we all met with him at the hosiptal. he then told us that the tumor is not oprabale and that he is changing her meds, after a little more info we are having hospice come in and get the house set up for her.
we then have the right to bring her home! at this time knowing what he told her and us she stated that she wants the DNR now. i explained it all to her again and she stated it not going to make a difference so why not, so we signed it tonight.

he also told us that she will be gone in a few weeks!! a month at best:sad: she then asked how will it happen?? :cry: he stated that tye pain will be getting worse by then and he will give her more pain meds to keep her comfortable and as the time gets closer she will get more and more tired till she goes to sleep and she will just pass, man i about hit the floor!!:zip:
she is taking it very well!

so tomorrow we will start getting the house ready for her and she will be home this weekend.
its going to be a hard few weeks!
 
once again, sorry your family is having to go through this. hospice will give you a pamphlet type book explaining what to expect and what time line you are looking at. i found this to be extremely accurate and it was a comfort to know what to expect. when they assign a nurse, have a heart to heart with him/her , they usually have a better idea than the docs as to what is ahead. try to spend as much time as you can with your mom, even if she is sleeping. my mom would often awake early in the morning and that was when she was the most lucid and wanted to talk.
 
I know both of my parents would have liked to pass at home (esp my Mom), but when the time came it just wasn't feasible.

Keep on doing all you can for her and hang in there yourself.

I feel your pain...

rkc
 
Thanks All!

mom is coming home tomorrow, she has said for years now that she never wanted to be put in a nursing home or anything!!! She always said she wanted to die at home, and she asked to go home yesterday!!
Well after talking with doc last night i called hospice this morning at 9am, they meet me at thye hosiptal at 1:30 pj, after a 1 hour meeting they ordered a hosptai bed, walker, wheelchair, and all meds and other things we will need to get her home. Boy they are fast all was delivered at her house today at 4:30pm!!
The doc called 6pm to answer some questions i had on her meds, as there was a question on soime of the meds that needed to be cleared up.
I also called my uncle in NY as she wants to be put with her mother anf father, so I need to know the cost of everything.

I wrote her a letter for mothers day a few weeks ago, but she might not make it? So I am going to give it to her soon, here it is


Mom I know this is not a fancy store bought card with pretty pictures, and a fancy poem. But it’s the only way I could get one to say what I wanted!
Ma, I know I never say it, but I hope you already know just how much you mean to me!! For some reason I feel stupid to say it, even to you? But I am so glad you are my mother!! It is in a large part because of you that I am the man I am today, and I am grateful for that, and all the things you have taught me, and have done for me!
This is why I am choosing this Mothers Day to say……
I LOVE YOU!!​
 
Like Reel just said, only real men, men that are secure in themselves, can talk in those terms. I tell my mom every chance I get that I love her. I just wish I would have told my father before he died. It's a regret that I'll carry for the rest of my life. Telling your mom now is the best thing that you can do for both of you. God bless you both.
 
That is some very difficult news to hear. So sorry for you and your family.

The mother's day card is especially touching....I appreciate you sharing that with us. The hand written cards do mean so much more than anything you could buy.

I for one am going to make a point to tell my parents how much I love them, and tell them often.
 
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