When will it stop???

charlie_the_tuna

charlie_the_tuna

God
we had to put our cat down on monday. we got him when we got married and he was with us for about 14 years. my boys have known him all their lives and he was a part of this family. he left us monday morning and aside from the initial blubbering like a dam fool, i have been fighting back tears for the last two days. my family is heartbroken and this house just seems so dam empty now. we've just been walking around in a slump for two days and just going through the motions of normal life.
i carry a tremendous amout of guilt that i didnt do everything i could for him. i cant sleep, i cant eat and i'm kind of making believe i'm making it through my day.
this is the single hardest thing i've ever had to do in my life. i will carry this with me forever.
all you who have had to put a beloved pet down, how long does this last? when will we be happy again? can we ever get back to normal? why does this hurt so much? he was just a cat, right? then why cant i stop crying?
 
Sorry for your loss. At 14 years I'd say he had a wonderful long life around people who loved him. They are not just pets, they are family members. Thinking of the great times you had together helped us and in due time you will feel better.
 
It is going to take a while, CTT, but you will get through it. I have had to put down a couple cats and a dog and, yes, I too went through all the feelings of guilt about not saying cost be damned and trying to prolong their lives. However, like your cat, my animals were all pretty well up there in age, had lived good lives, and I ultimately decided that it was not the money, but rather the fact that I did not want the animals to live a reduced quality of life, and so ended their suffering.

In time, I believe you will want to get another cat to replace the one you have lost. Will never replace your beloved pet, but will help fill the void.
 
Charlie, i'm really sorry and i understand you 100%. I was a kid maybe 14-15 when my first ever dog died on me, i'm in my 40's now and sometimes when i think of him tears come out. I have a 10 year old Husky now and sometimes when we play together i just get very sad just thinking that in a few years he won't be around, he looks at me and his eyes look like they are crying, do they understand that much? Anyway, again, sorry about your loss and no, is not that easy to forget or to go away. God bless you.
 
charlie_the_tuna said:
all you who have had to put a beloved pet down, how long does this last? when will we be happy again? can we ever get back to normal? why does this hurt so much? he was just a cat, right? then why cant i stop crying?
Click to expand...

You're in the toughest phase of having a pet. I believe your grief will pass with time. How much time I can't guess, but obviously you and your family loved this cat very much, and it will take a while because you've lost a member of your family. It's perfectly normal to feel this way. My calendar tells me that it's almost a year since I lost my dog, and I still think about him every day. In time your thoughts will shift away from grief and more to happy memories about him. But for now, it's okay to grieve.

My sympathy to you and your family. This may help:
http://helpguide.org/mental/grieving_pets.htm
 
Like all the others here, I've loved and lost a number of family and personal pets. Several dogs, birds, tons of cats, even a squirrel or two.. Every one of them caused me pain at their loss.

Anytime you have to put an animal down it's especially hard, simply because you made the decision to end their life. But ask yourself...would it be better to see them go around in pain and suffering or let them sleep painfree? Ultimately, you make the decision based upon your love for them. I'm sure if they could talk they would thank you.

It's a loss, yes, and just like any other injury it will take time to heal. Remember the good times, and get yourself another cat. Nothing will be able to stop the memories or the pain, but having to provide for a new cat will help ease that sorrow you feel right now. Remember, cats adopt you, you don't adopt them. Go to an animal shelter and see if any of the cats there want you to take them home. Don't limit yourself to just kittens either. Some of my best cats have been 7-10 years old when I got to be their friend. Look around...
 
My sympathies,

I had to put down my best friend, a black lab, a few years back. I got her after a breakup of a long relationship and was the love of my life during my single years. I dreaded for years of when "that day" would come. I was a real mess for a few weeks after she was put down. The wife hated seeing me like that so she bought me a puppy (yellow lab). In respect of the dog that just died I thought it was too soon, but it really helped me tremendously.

So as nipper says, get a new one. Of course I would recommend a dog instead, but that's all about personal preference.

Take care.
 
I feel for yeah. I just had to put my dads dog down last year, and it was tough. Before my dad passed I promised to take care of his dog for him, and at 10 he got a stomach tumor that ruptured and took him. For me it was like breaking that promise I made to my dad before he passed, but then I realized I had fullfilled it and then some. I think it is easier losing a person than an animal because an animal pulls you in without ever saying a word, people on the other hand can talk and do the opposite. It's never easy to lose a member of the family, espescially after that long of a time. In the end just remember what you did with them while they were here.
 
CTT 14 is a very long life. You can take comfort in knowing that cat lived longer than most other cats. I can relate to your story especially well. I had a cat to get a facial tumor on the left part of her nose at about 6 - 7 yrs old. Took her to the vet and the doc gave her a shot that made the tumor almost disapear. Then it came back. Took her back, another shot and disapear. Then it came back. Finally doc was like, it is cancerous and I can give her another shot but it is going to come back and eventually get her. Took docs recommendation to put her down. That cat was purring and rubbing all over me on the vet table waiting to be put down. Happy all the way to the end even though her face looked like the elephant man. Vet gave her a shot and I had to walk out. I was pretty emotional. I cracked the door to take a peak about 5 min. after the vet had walked out and she was curled up on the table. When the door opened her ears perked up. It tore me up. Doc came back, checked her heartbeat, said "she's still with us" & tore me up more. Then he turns her over and gives a 2nd shot directly in the heart and her entire body was calmed - you could see the muscles relax from head to tow like a wave. Anyway, I know I did the right thing and I'm sure you did to.

My other 2 cats (brother and sister) ironically are 14 years old and we got them when we got married before the kids came along. Had to have some teeth pulled in the tom recently and found out he has feline AIDS. Doc said his sis probably has it too. They both seem happy so I figure if they go for another couple years that would be great. Lately I call him either Majic Johnson or Rock Hudson. It will be a sad sad day when we loose them.

Youd did the right thing for your cat CTT.
 
like all of the above, been there & done it, but it don't make it any easier. i was holding my 14 year old lab when he was euthanized. he had congestive heart failure and could hardly breath. i was sitting on the table with his head in my lap, scratching his ears, and he was laboring to get his breath. the vet said "are you ready?" and he gave the shot. it was amazing, the dog sighed and that was it... he finally looked comfortable. i watched my mom suffer with COPD and her last 2 weeks were miserable, i really wish i could have done something for her.
 
Charlie, you did what any responsible pet owner needed to do. I just put my lab down last month. It has been bothering me ever since. At 16 years of age she was not the same. My best friend was her vet and said she probably had tumors on the brain and showed signs of other health issues, such as dimentia. She was walking in circles and I couldn't get her in the house. She would stand outside in the pouring rain even in thunderstorms (that she feared). She would run from me and her hind legs were shot. I couldn't even pet her.

I miss Buca... but I know what I did was right for her, as what you needed to so for you beloved cat. I look at Buca's pics from pup to later years. She was not herself, she was sick and she was not happy, I would not have wanted to live any longer if it was me in her place.
 
thanks all. i just couldnt ever have imagined it would be this tough. my 12 year old is a mess. those two loved each other, and the kids have never known life without their cat.
road king, we already have a dog and in her own way i think she misses him too.
i dont think it would be the right thing to do at this time to replace him. i feel like i would just have all these expectations and the new guy wouldnt live up to them. i just dont think it would be fair to him, or me right now. maybe in the future, when we have healed completely but right now, we're just gonna stick with that stupid dog.
thanks again all, it just good to know that others have gone through this and the hurt eventually goes away.
regards, C
 
Take care and just talk through it with the kids, focusing on the good times with the cat. You usually come across as a real "tough guy", but appears you are just a big softy at heart!
 
Gotta disagree with you CTT... Although you may not realize it, now is the perfect time for a new cat. Waiting for the healing to complete is like waiting for the ocean to go dry... it ain't gonna happen.... But the whole idea of the new cat is to keep your mind from dwelling on your lost friend and also to start getting into a rotinue with the new cat...feeding, grooming, catching mice together, watching football games together... you get the idea.. Yes my friend, it's time....
 
I had to put my dog down in 06 that I had had since I was just a little kid, and then last year my dad's dog. It was wierd though that not even a month after I had to put my dog down, another dog was droped off on our road that had been beaten badly. After I had to put my dad's dog down, low and behold another abused animal showed up at my uncles place across town. So now I'll take in drop-offs as they seem to appreciate having a home, and appreciate any love that you give em. Just don't think of them as a replcement, they can never replace your long time friend. Think of em as a new friend.
 
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