garagenc
God
Rules for Kickin' ***
Rules for the Non-Military
Dear Civilians, 'We know that the current state of affairs in our
great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the
military.
For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a
few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during
the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ***.
2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in
protest - kick their ***.
3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest
amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,
quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the
very freedom they bask in
every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans
made to make
this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks
their ***.
4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.
Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others
that you used to be 'Special Forces'. Collecting GI Joe memorabilia,
might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it will only
make you look stupid and get your *** kicked.
5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them,
'Do you fly jet?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such
ignorance deserves an ***-kicking (children are exempt).
6. If you witness someone calling the *US Coast Guard* 'non-military',
inform them of their mistake - and kick their ***.
7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get
on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your
heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be
carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you
a severe ***-kicking.
8. 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me - stop saying
it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would
kick your ***!
10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying
'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal
balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me - if you
see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I
can go kick their ***!
11. 'Flyboy' (*Air Force*), 'Jarhead' (*Marines*), 'Grunt' (*Army*),
'Squid' (*Navy*), 'Puddle Jumpers' (*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of
endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service
member or vet, you have not
earned the right to use them. Using them could get your *** kicked.
12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the
military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and
religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please
remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors,
marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their
families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they
make every day. Without them, our Country would get it's *** kicked.
It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of
the press.'
'It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of
speech.'
'It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the
freedom to demonstrate.'
'It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to
burn the flag.'
AND ONE MORE:
13. If you ever see anyone singing the national anthem in Spanish -
KICK THEIR ***.
ONE LAST THING:
If you got this email and didn't pass it on - guess what - you deserve
to get your *** kicked!
I sent this to you, because I didn't want to get my *** kicked.
WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE!
IN GOD WE TRUST
Rules for the Non-Military
Dear Civilians, 'We know that the current state of affairs in our
great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the
military.
For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a
few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during
the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ***.
2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in
protest - kick their ***.
3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest
amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,
quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the
very freedom they bask in
every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans
made to make
this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks
their ***.
4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.
Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others
that you used to be 'Special Forces'. Collecting GI Joe memorabilia,
might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it will only
make you look stupid and get your *** kicked.
5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them,
'Do you fly jet?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such
ignorance deserves an ***-kicking (children are exempt).
6. If you witness someone calling the *US Coast Guard* 'non-military',
inform them of their mistake - and kick their ***.
7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get
on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your
heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be
carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you
a severe ***-kicking.
8. 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me - stop saying
it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would
kick your ***!
10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying
'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal
balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me - if you
see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I
can go kick their ***!
11. 'Flyboy' (*Air Force*), 'Jarhead' (*Marines*), 'Grunt' (*Army*),
'Squid' (*Navy*), 'Puddle Jumpers' (*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of
endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service
member or vet, you have not
earned the right to use them. Using them could get your *** kicked.
12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the
military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and
religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please
remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors,
marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their
families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they
make every day. Without them, our Country would get it's *** kicked.
It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of
the press.'
'It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of
speech.'
'It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the
freedom to demonstrate.'
'It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to
burn the flag.'
AND ONE MORE:
13. If you ever see anyone singing the national anthem in Spanish -
KICK THEIR ***.
ONE LAST THING:
If you got this email and didn't pass it on - guess what - you deserve
to get your *** kicked!
I sent this to you, because I didn't want to get my *** kicked.
WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE!
IN GOD WE TRUST
