Different Ways...

[reelapeelin]

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS


Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values.

Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'

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A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'

The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'

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A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room said to her husband


'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'

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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'

The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. The DNA all matches.

2. There are no dental records.

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Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'

Joe: 'Really?'

Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'

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While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits.


It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'

He's still in intensive care.

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The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'















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[lumberslinger178]

 

[garagenc]

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values.

Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'

Mr. Krinkle says he probably did but he doesn't remember any names.

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[phatdaddy]

elderly lady's husband passed away and she was making arrangments with the funeral director. he asked if she would like to write the obituary. she composed a very lengthy and flowing account of her husband's life and gave it to the funeral director. he looked it over and told her that would be $275.00. she was shocked by the price and asked why so much. he explained that they charged by the word and she could re-write it if she wanted to. the next one said "Bill is dead" he then explained they had a 6 word minumum, she thought a minute and wrote "Bill is dead, truck for sale"