turbinedoctor
God
I dont see a section for jokes so I assume this is where they should be posted.
A lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and
spotted the most beautiful, perfect "loaded" Lexus -
and walked over to inspect it closer.
As she bent forward to feel the fine leather
upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence
escaped her.
Very embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see
if anyone had noticed.
There standing behind her was a salesman. With a
pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How
may we help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting
as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and
asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely
vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm
very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it,
you're gonna crap yourself when you hear the price.
NEXT ONE:
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice -- picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening, the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Moral: Some old men can still think fast...
MJ I believe these are not to much for the family environment, If you feel different let me know and I'll remove them.
A lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and
spotted the most beautiful, perfect "loaded" Lexus -
and walked over to inspect it closer.
As she bent forward to feel the fine leather
upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence
escaped her.
Very embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see
if anyone had noticed.
There standing behind her was a salesman. With a
pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How
may we help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting
as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and
asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely
vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm
very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it,
you're gonna crap yourself when you hear the price.
NEXT ONE:
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice -- picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening, the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Moral: Some old men can still think fast...
MJ I believe these are not to much for the family environment, If you feel different let me know and I'll remove them.
